Throughout John's deployment, we would banter about who had it tougher...Me with 2 kids, a full time job, the in-laws, & 18 rental properties. Or him - who had war and insurgents...
Normally I, with great jealousy, would announce "me!" Hey, you at least had only one thing to focus on - and quite frankly, I would trade our tenants for insurgents almost any day! Until this week...
Four soldiers from his FOB were killed Monday by a roadside bomb. At least 2 of the soldiers had served under John...
Last night we had a conversation about leadership. And then he said "I never imagined the decisions I made months ago would have affected me - now that I am home today"
You see, he decided these men were talented and had so much to offer that he had made the decision to put them on mentor teams.
I think, realistically, he realizes that his decisions didn't cause the roadside bomb that ended their lives. But within a great leader is a heart that feels anything but...
Who had it tougher...maybe I wouldn't trade my tenants for anything...
Friday, July 10, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
And there she was...
And there she was...a Guard wife like me waiting at the airport to board a plane so she would be at Dover when her husband's body arrived. And there she was...so brave, so strong, talking about the two men that came to her door the night before. Her husband was only one month from being home.
Her and her husband's greatest fear had become reality.
I watched her story on the internet as I looked for stories of the four men that were killed Monday by a roadside bomb in northern Afghanistan. They were from the same FOB my husband had commanded just months earlier. All of a sudden this woman, whom I never met and had never talked to, impacted me in a way I never imagined.
She was going through in reality, what I had played over & over in my head countless times throughout John's deployment. The knock at the door, a soldier & a chaplain, what I would do, how I would feel, what came next. And there she was...not shedding a tear, voice strong, about to embark on what I am sure is the hardest journey she's ever taken.
When we learned of the deaths of the four men, my husband emailed and talked to many of the soldiers he served with at FOB Konduz. Understandably, all were dealing with a mix of emotions – I remember saying to him that I'm sure he, as well as many of the men, were dealing with survivor guilt even though he and many of the men had left months earlier.
And there she was...a Guard wife like me. And for the first time I knew what it was to feel survivor guilt.
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